25 to Life: A Small Reflection

25 years to life.

Sept 12, 1992 my John and I were married. We were kids. I was 18, he was 19 and we had no idea how the future would play out. After 25 years of wedded bliss and blister, this is what I think. This isn’t meant to be advice, but rather a reflection.

Having our kids early paid off in dividends.

We popped them out fast too. 1993- it’s a boy. 1995- it’s a girl. 1997 -it’s a boy and 1999 -it’s a boy. Six years, four kids, for real. Chaos ensued for approximately 10 years. For that period of time it was all goldfish crackers, diapers, and laundry.  Then, we noticed something amazing. We had four capable little people, each with their own minds and hearts. They each had their own way of doing things, communicating and just being themselves. They fell in love with dance, music, scouting and being outdoors. They loved their family fiercely, spent time with their grandparents and loved just being together.

Over the course of the past twenty-five years, we focused on family a lot but we always put our marriage to one another first.

When you put your spouse at the top of the priority list, amazing things happen in your family. A certain level of respect is reached. There is a rather large amount of trust built up between you as a married couple, and as parents to your children. The stability our kids had while growing up impacted them greatly. They know what commitment looks like.

Enter the teen years- which we barely survived, and I mean each of us. We didn’t come out unscathed, but we have all learned some valuable lessons about respecting boundaries, loving unconditionally and covering our tracks. (which none of my kids has ever done very well- mom always finds out) In June of 2017, we graduated the last one. We, technically on paper and school bus routes, are empty nesters. Not everyone has moved out, but that is a process. When they are ready, those birds will fly and I will get a library.

Here are my top ten twenty-five year things:

(subject to change)

**Someone should give you a 25-year wedding shower. I am talking registering at the big stores. Getting new towels, curtains, cookware, dining room suite and living room furniture. Our stuff is WORN people. I mean worn.

** Grace needs to be given in tremendous amounts when we don’t answer the phone because we have time to sit in a hammock.

**Don’t ask to borrow my car- it’s the only one I have and I intend to keep it for a while.

** Grandchildren are not optional- of course we want them. But we also reserve the right to say no and go to Red Lobster instead.

** Don’t act surprised when I ask for your help with a project. Nothing has changed, I still need you for physical work sometimes. I didn’t get taller or stronger just because ya’ll moved out.

**If you don’t want all your boxes of high school stuff, then what do I want with them? GOODWILL.

** On occasion, we may want to have dinner with no kids. That means sitting at the bar at some restaurants to avoid families like ours. (true story)

**Simplicity is the best way to go. We don’t need you to be extravagant. We want your time, not your things. Whether friends or family- you are important to us.

**Don’t ever touch my coffee pot. It is set up on a timer. (sounds fancy, I know) It will make the coffee when I need it, so I can function normally because, after twenty-five years, everyone needs coffee.

** Prepare for us to say no sometimes, cause I am hanging out with my spouse today, and we are pretty much always a package deal.

Twenty -five to Life.

Best sentence ever.