A Stressless Best Yes

As we enter a new year we get to decide about our commitments.

Then you see her coming- the person who schedules everything at church, work or school. No matter what you do, she eventually corners you for a commitment.  She has a clipboard and a pile of paper and schedules.

Isn’t it a good idea to be prepared?

What if you already know the answer, because you arrive at this moment with a well thought out plan?

What if we plan for a Stressless Best Yes?

In the book “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkuerst, foundations for saying no are laid out. How many times have we been asked to do something and said yes out of obligation? Only to realize later we are in over our head. Between church, school, community, and family there are many things we can participate in. There are opportunities to head up committees, be part of social events or lead classes and studies.

We feel obligated to our faith, our families and ourselves. There is nothing wrong with turning down an obligation or opportunity to serve for your own personal reasons. While others may not always understand, you do not have to offer a reason for it.

 There are times when our “NO” is a gift.

It is intended to be a straightforward answer to someone who’s trying to meet a need. When we know we cannot fill it fully, we should say no to prevent half-done work. We are busy and we have lives to live. There are lots of opportunities and we simply cannot be a part of them all. On occasion, we need to be a spectator instead of an administrator.

Sometimes in our life, we need white space on our calendar.

We all have limits personally, financially and professionally. We know ourselves better than anyone else, so it is important for us to be honest with those who ask of our time. Honesty is the best policy for this type of conversation.

It may disappoint someone when we say no. It doesn’t mean we have done something wrong. Even with an explanation, others may not understand. Serving is different for everyone. It takes time to learn what your strengths are. It also takes trying new things and learning they are or are not your cup of tea. It requires tuning into the Holy Spirit and listening to the nudges provided.

There are things which come naturally for us, but that doesn’t mean we want to do them twenty-four hours a day. For instance, when you are a teacher, maybe you want to serve somewhere other than youth ministry on Sunday. If your vocation is in hospitality, maybe you would rather not be a door greeter or event planner on the weekends. Maybe you have a project of your own in ministry which you need to focus on.

It is ok.

There will always be plenty to do.

There are some opportunities to help out which are less time constraining. When short-term opportunities present themselves, it makes more sense to commit. When a rotation for serving communion comes around, it might be for a month, two times a year. Contributing to a specific occasion or social event may make sense. These things are one-time obligations.  Another suggestion would be to split the responsibility with someone you trust.

It is very little we wouldn’t do for the ones we love. Shouldn’t giving them our “Best Yes” be one of those things?

Instead of setting the standard high and having a self-expectation of completion and participation, why not lower the bar a bit and show ourselves some grace?

Instead of over-committing and overwhelming ourselves, why not try to focus on a Stress-Less type of calendar?

In teaching ourselves to stress-less, we can focus our attention on the things which matter to us most and give our Best Yes to those we serve most.

 

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