Are You the Weary Parent of a Graduate?

Emotions and confusion swirl around in my head like this is a terrible dream I will wake up from tomorrow. People come to our home sharing food, bringing gifts celebrating the life of our third child as if he is the only one who matters in this moment. It’s exhausting entertaining when I am so emotional. After everyone is gone and everything is cleaned up, I collapse on the couch. Tears are running down my face as I try to figure out how we got to this moment of awkward goodbye. This is not my first time experiencing this anguish, and I am certain I will never understand.When your child graduates high school, it stinks. Sure, it is a celebration, with parties and food, pictures and memories shared. It is a whirlwind of activity, schedules and showing up to things on time. But no one ever warns you about all the feelings you go through in between ordering a cake and ironing a cap and gown. No one prepares you for the moment you realize your little shadow has risen up, grown into a full-size man, a pseudo-adult. He is ready to take on whatever the world has to offer. No one prepares your heart for what happens next.Whether college, military or just living life with this new found freedom, the parents role in this has been comparable to the stages of grief.  You blaze through them so fast, you have no idea what has hit you, and no matter how many kids you have it never gets easier. You see his empty parking spot by the garage when you leave for work. His room is empty too. You used to pick up his dirty clothes in the morning after he worked late the night before at the fast food place, too tired to walk up the stairs. You cook too much dinner now and yell for him before you leave the house because you forgot he moved out. All these things leave you breathless and full of heartache. No one told you it would be like this.

But fear not weary parents!

One day soon that kid will bring his laundry over, or come for a meal or a forgotten treasure he just cannot live without. He will hang around and make excuses about not having to be anywhere at the moment. You will see he has remembered more of what you taught him than you thought. He’s pushing through adulthood and somehow he’s surviving. He is thriving in a new environment. The best part? He comes home for reassurance and a hug from his parents  because he needs you still.

He has different needs now, but they are still needs. This boy who started out with all the curls and the blue eyes as deep as the ocean- he is turning into an amazing man. And all those things no one told you about? They get brushed by the wayside because your heart is full and your tears are happy. He pulls out of the driveway, flashes you a smile and waves. This is the fulfillment of parenthood, and no one could ever prepare you for that.

This post is also located here, At the Huffington Post.