Embrace anyone & everyone

I sat in the front of the church, alone in my pew. (Yes, we still have those) My husband with the voice was on the stage singing his soul out to God as part of the worship team. I’d been at church for a couple of hours already because his rehearsal is early. I had already sat through writing notes in Sunday school, the awkward in-between time, and now the service was wrapping up. I geared up my introverted self for another awkward few minutes until I could escape to the safety of our car.

I placed my bible and journal in my bag with the hundred or so gel pens. (Yes, you read that right. 100+)

I turned to go and was stopped by… no one.

I am an introvert, it’s true. Sometimes I have anxiety being around people I am not comfortable with.

I also have a certain spiritual awareness I didn’t have when I was younger. I recognize that if I want the Holy Spirit to step in and take charge- I must ask him to. I don’t depend on other flawed human beings to “feed me” spiritually. I know how to open, read, and study scripture. I know how to pray, worship, and seek spiritual counsel from qualified people.

I also know how to get my feelings really hurt by the very people who shouldn’t be hurting people’s feelings at all. I have expectations that just because I am different, and I see things from a place of clarity (for me personally) I would be welcomed with open arms and the love of Christ in my own church.

It doesn’t feel this way.

 I’ve not been here my whole life. I’m not part of the tradition. I’m not part of the memories. I’m not part of much of anything. Some of that is my choice- we don’t have women’s ministry at my church. (Not an excuse just a fact) We have traditions, established women’s groups consisting of lifelong friends and family (who are not a fan of switching things up), and a handful of new people who don’t know where they fit in. (We aren’t  exactly good at rolling out the welcome mat.)

This often makes me think of a piece of artwork of Jesus that I have grown to love, not because it is actually him, but because of what he is doing. He has his arms stretched out like he is ready to embrace anyone.

Imagine that- embracing anyone.

Having the ability to embrace anyone is a God-given gift at best. I believe it’s a prayed-for gift, not something which comes naturally to many. Especially not a group of people who have always suffered loss in their congregation and not a lot of growth.

Embracing anyone includes everyone– much like the gospel. It means it doesn’t matter if someone is new to Christ, new to your church, or new to you. It doesn’t matter if a person has no ideas or new ideas- embracing everyone takes a form of self-sacrifice that most don’t understand.

 It’s uncomfortable. It’s breaking with tradition. It’s making a change that is hard for almost everyone.

But to be like Jesus and move forward with growth we must do the hard things.

To be like Jesus we must have our arms wide open- ready to embrace everyone.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think (and likely overthink) this situation and how I can make it better only by opening my own arms and welcoming others in a way I have not been. If I can be like Jesus in this one small way, then it’s one small thing I can do that is hard for others, and maybe it will make a difference.

I used to be really offended for myself over this situation. But I have come to realize some people simply don’t know how to open their arms, hearts, and lives. I am still looking for a way to overcome this obstacle for myself personally. I would love to have no anxiety walking into the place where I worship. I pray for the Holy Spirit to give me what I need to be the change I want to see.

What does embracing everyone look like exactly?

How do we walk in our lives with open arms like Jesus?

It must start in one place, become very consistent and second nature, then spill over into other areas of your life. It’s a personal choice and a Holy Spirit-led venture.

Accepting everyone in all of life’s circumstances, regardless of where they come from is a good start. Unconditional love and respect for someone’s boundaries. Communicating clearly and concisely. Quiet, prayerful support in life decisions and acceptable, prayerful counsel when needed. Community, commitment to the relationship, and continuous relationship maintenance.

For me, it looks like giving people space when they need it. Sending them a handwritten card or quietly squeezing their hand in a moment when words won’t work or be heard. Smiling across a room. Intentionally seeking out those who look lost like I am. Recognizing that people were created to need one another and created to be helpful to one another.

It looks like asking the questions instead of making assumptions. It requires less gossip and more listening. It requires a certain number of uncomfortable moments of uncertainty until you get over yourself and the fear of rejection and just offer support and love in a variety of simple ways that reflect that you care.

Personally, I would love for the people in my church to be more open to visitors instead of making it feel so closed off and private. I would love to hear “The people in your church are so warm and welcoming, we will definitely be back.” I would love a genuine smile and a friendly handshake and a sense of belonging to be offered to everyone who comes in the door, from lifelong members to brand new visitors.

Everyone needs to be on the same page with their level of Holy Spirit-led hospitality for this to happen. Everyone needs to recognize and understand the impact of their words, facial expressions, huddles in the corner with friends, and quiet glances.

Everyone has to want to become a space where we embrace anyone and everyone like Jesus.

XOXO