Fathers Day 2017- Another First

Father’s day is such a bittersweet day this year. It’s going to be another “first” without my sweet daddy. I know in heaven he is receiving the greatest gifts. No more pain. Jesus. Grandpa and grandma. My unborn grandbaby. He may even have a lot of work to do for the Kingdom of God. There are so many unknowns about heaven. I can sit here and dream about it all day, creating scenarios and possibilities. I believe they are endless.

Instead, I will honor my sweet daddy and the life he lived. He wasn’t a complicated man as far as I can tell. He was quite the opposite. He wanted things to make sense. He wanted them to be logically thought out and endlessly pursued.  He loved with every fiber of his being. His hands were calloused from working so hard, yet they were soft and gentle enough to love on our babies. He liked simplicity.

Daddy didn’t want things for himself. He wanted everything for us and mom. I remember him living sacrificially. He lived by example and we needed it! He wasn’t perfect. He had his flaws (shocking I know!) But they were a part of him, and so was Jesus.  He wanted nothing more than for his tribe to understand and comprehend the love God has for us as much as he did.

 

Dad taught me to pray without ceasing- I mean 24 hours a day. He taught me that things aren’t always as they seem. He showed me to look for the light in the darkest situations. He wanted to instill an optimistic view on the world around him.

He was an amazing influence in his career. He taught at the same place his entire time teaching! He worked with kids with needs which far surpass what the public school can offer. These kids come to the program for survival. Some of them have been bullied, traumatized, rejected and abused. Some are overwhelmed with the life they were born into. He loved them all, unconditionally, without regret.

I have been told he was amazing at his job and how he related to the classroom. His peers respected him and listened to him. He fought for things when no one else would fight, and he honored his promises.

Sweet daddy was retired for two hours and fifteen minutes when he passed. The moment he left us was surreal, and I know he saw Jesus. I celebrate that holy time I spent with him as he was ushered on wings of angels into heaven, right where he belonged. It was a blessing for my immediate family to witness such a moment.

I hope he got answers to all his questions! This was a big topic we discussed around a lot of campfires. If you had one thing you really needed to know, what would you ask Jesus?  Did unicorns miss the ark? Did Lots wife blow away in the wind? What did Jesus write in the dirt when he spoke to the Pharisees about the adulteress? Who is “the Psalmist”? And the big one, did I fulfill my purpose on earth as you wanted?

 

 

The grief from missing him has been positively overwhelming some days. It’s not the selfish kind of grief I had at first or even the heartache. It’s his absence in my everyday life. My mom hasn’t shut his phone off yet. I call it to hear his voice on voicemail somedays. It makes me tear up, but it also makes me smile.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy.

I miss your Saturday morning pancakes.

All of heaven is yours and I know you earned it.