There are many Scriptures which refer to how to be a friend and Gods expectations for us in our friendships. Lucky for us there are also very clear instructions on what not to do. Most of these things can lead to tumultuous friendships at best.

Let’s examine some of these scriptures and see how they apply to our friendships with non-Christian friends, and what possibilities we have before us to make an impact on those friends.

When caught up in conversations and girl talk, gossip can creep in very quickly and without warning. Sometimes the difference between girl talk and gossip is – well there is none.

Question: How to tell the difference?

On occasion, we have a friend who embarrasses us with a public outburst or a flash of anger we have never seen before. It is normal for us girls to have “moments” on occasion. However, when those “moments” become the norm, how are we handling them? Do we jump on the bandwagon and become a mean girl or a bully? Do we participate in these behaviors because it is our friend? God clearly gives us a consequence for this.

Question: Where do we draw the line?

Knowing that some of our friends are not walking with Christ is the reality of a Christian. As a Christian woman, we take the responsibility on of being a good example, a good mentor-whether our non-Christian girlfriends see it or not. The part we need to examine is when is too much – too much? Where is the line between ministering to another woman and getting sucked into her world? Is it a conversation? A drink? A flirt with a waiter?

Question: Where do you draw the line?

In this verse, all I see is- “where do I get my counsel?” It is important to council with Christian mentors. Having a core group of women with whom to confide is a great asset that God has provided us with. However-for the deep spiritual accountability and encouragement I only counsel with two women. When finding a mentor it is best for her to be older
and wiser in her walk with Christ, not her age.

In any relationship, it is important to have reconciliation in conflict. One important thing to remember is not everyone deals with it in the same way. Christian and non-Christian women alike have different excuses, reasons, and issues dealing with reconciliation. Some of us cannot issue forgiveness because bitter memories prevent us from forgiving. Some of us forgive quickly and move on, not spending time re-hashing situations and circumstances.  Some of these women know Jesus, but some do not.  Two important factors weigh in:

Being friends with non-Christian women is possible, and important. It can be tricky – you have to be sure to have on the full armor of God, with a little extra protection for your heart.  It can be such a blessing to lead another woman to Christ- it can also be exhausting trying. While we set the example, we must also learn from the scripture how to be cautious in these relationships and learn when it is time to turn a friendship into a seasonal one and let someone else minister to a friend who just isn’t ready.