It has happened again. Another blog article written by another Christian woman telling other Christian women they aren’t all that.

Wonderful.

She not only calls out the normal, messy, human Christian women who are fighting to stay afloat in a sea of doubt and life, but then she has to go pick on some of those women who somehow turned their life stories into full blown ministries. And she does it with picked over single verse scripture, crafted to mean what she wants it to say and fit into her concept. This concept says if a “Christian woman” doesn’t have her life “in order” then she shouldn’t be mentoring to others, writing about her struggle or shooting for transparency at all. Because after all, we are all striving to be the Martha Stewarts of Christian women, and if we haven’t arrived, we shouldn’t be talking about it just yet….

Thank You God for sending me Jesus for forgiveness and final judge. Because with Christian friends like this lady, who really needs the enemy?

I realize this is going to be a pebble in the ocean but for the love of all good things can we just stop this nonsense? No one needs to fit inside your box. Not ever. Jesus didn’t have a box, and neither should you. He had sandals. And he had dirty feet. Showers weren’t common place then, and neither was aftershave, shampoo or deodorant. He had friends who had NOTHING together.  Those he chose to serve him closest were giant transparent messes. They were sinners redeemed by faith and hope in a savior who promised them a perfect life- after this one here on earth, as a human.

I personally know the effects of Christian women judging other Christian women. Having an unattainable standard placed on you by someone whom you look up to as a spiritual mentor is not only disheartening – it is suffocating. It sucks the life out of you quicker than the cold winter air, and it leaves scars on your heart that remain for a lifetime. You never forget the way a Christian woman looking down on you makes you feel.  I never have.  I will never forget when someone first threw scripture in my face- it was out of context, and out of line. It makes you want to pack up your family and never come back.

Immediately, I wished a lot of things. I wished I had memorized more scripture so I had a better comeback. I wished I had reached out to other Christian women for support, instead of leaning on people whom I knew had little boxes of expectation. I should have seen the warning signs, the criticism, the conflicts and the crisis. I wanted to have a warning, some kind of system that went off like a bell in my head saying “whoa there, Angie! Slow down this relationship and lean on Christ more”.  What I didn’t realize is- I had all of this and more.

First, I have a brain. I have a good amount of common sense. When I want real answers to scripture being thrown at me out of context and out of line, I know how to look it up for myself. I don’t need someone to explain it to me how they fit it in- I can read it on my own. Second, I did have other women who would love me and all of my messy mistakes unconditionally, because I am their sister in Christ, and they don’t need another reason. Third, I did see the warning signs, and I ignored them. I thought I was being silly. Until the Holy Spirit started red flagging me and I paid attention at last. That’s when I started praying for God to send me some resolution.  And boy did he ever.

Jesus set some pretty high standards with all of the changing water into wine, healing leprosy and raising people from the dead. Yet he also laid out some pretty clear, simple expectations when it came to his followers and how we are to treat others.  I use the term “others” loosely because I think it includes all of us. I know he refers to sinners and neighbors specifically. They are all of us.

The big picture says we should be striving to be more like him- so let’s make a choice to start by keeping the Christ, in Christians.