When I asked my hubs for his best marital advice to give a newlywed, he said this:

 

“You gotta know when to hold em,

Know when to fold em.

Know when to walk away,

Know when to run.”

 

Ok then. I love him.

I guess all of the above are true statements when it comes to the marriage relationship.

Know when to hold em…

Communication is such a vital element in our marriage. Knowing when to hold information for more delicate delivery can be a key factor. Knowing what information to deliver at all can also be important.  My spouse doesn’t always need to hear every detail of every minute of every day. Sometimes, what my spouse needs is to know my day was either good or bad, and now we move on to us, leaving work and social issues at bay.  I like to share with him things that on the grand scale just don’t matter much. Often I am misinterpreting the question. He is so good and patient at just listening, but as the years have passed us by, I can tell when he is all done with this story. So my goals have been to have engaging conversations about whatever topics come along instead of the minute details of a day.

Knowing when to stop talking and just hold your spouse is another communication tool that says “I’m here for whatever you need with no words, just arms”.  As a woman, sometimes what I need is for everyone to shut up stop talking to me, telling me how I need to do something, or why I should be doing it. Once in a while, I would like to just say what is on my mind without a declaration of therapy from my husband, and that is exactly what I get. And a Hershey bar with almonds and coke for my own therapeutic purposes.

Being held is something our heavenly Father wants to do for us as well. Within our marriage, there have been times when we just didn’t have the capacity to actually be helpful in a situation. There have been circumstances out of our control which have prevented us from doing- well- anything but holding the other. That is when the Father above takes a hold of us and soothes our soul. He knows just when we need held by someone other than our spouse, and it is his place alone to fill that need.  On the rare occasion that I cannot find the words, I know my husband can depend on the Father to give us the answer he needs us to have in any situation.

As a couple, being devoted to God is the only devotion that outranks one another. We have learned from the beginning when we put him first, we can then focus on our marriage, and hopefully bring a testimony to others who want a lifelong commitment in a world of disposable relationships and rushed mistakes. We have learned when to “hold em”, so to speak, and we have learned when we are dealt a bad or strange hand, we can hold em together.

Join me next time for “Know when to Fold em”