Loving a Friend at all Times

Proverbs 17:17

“A friend loves at all times, and and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

A friend loves at all times.

 

I had a hard time believing this, as I drove down the street past her house. If this is what love in friendship feels like, then I don’t want to have any part of it anymore. I am a person who loves deeply, stands tall for you and holds you up, even when you have gotten yourself into a mess. I have never been the kind of friend who leaves you hanging in your  best or worst moments. Not ever.

 

I was really hurting inside. I couldn’t understand someone who would just walk away, and never look back. No phone call. No explanation. No closure. I had nothing but an empty confusing space inside my heart, and I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of remorse. No one had died, but I felt like it. I was feeling pretty unloved. I had allowed myself to be fooled by someone that I knew was really good at getting close to people while maintaining a wall. I knew there was a huge self built protective barrier around her, and only a few people really knew what her life was like. I knew it was risky for her to share certain parts of her life with me on some levels. What I couldn’t figure out was the part that continues to baffle me- why did everything change so quickly?

 

After several months of wondering, worrying and trying to figure it out, I decided the lesson here for me was how to treat the people I love and respect. My friendships clearly mattered to me more than I ever mattered to her. I needed to be sure I never did this to anyone I loved. I cannot imagine causing this much pain and doubt to a person, especially not a person I call my friend. I set some new goals to include praying over the friendships I currently held, as well as for any I might establish in the future. I make sure to show my friends that I love them in my actions, by listening when they need to talk, and by being their friend.

 

The world around me provides much pressure to do many things. I am expected to behave in certain ways. I need to be sure I know what my motives are with the people around me. I need to understand they are gifts to me from God. I need to cherish them for who they are, and not try to change or improve them. I need to love them unconditionally and without regret. I can hold them up while they make mistakes, because this is the example Christ has given me.
The challenge lies in the differences we hold within ourselves. We are all different, yet there is something that brings us together and binds us in friendship. I can only challenge myself, and you, to seek out the very things that bind us, and grow our friendships based on unconditional love and respect. Because a real friend should love at all times, regardless of the circumstances.