As we head into summer, it’s appropriate to share a bit about our kick-off vacation. This is the first time we took a vacation as empty-nesters. We have done a mission trip, weekend get-away and trips individually for work or as volunteers. We have never done an actual vacation just the two of us.

It was epic.

Moms and dads- if you have 4-5 days and a sitter-DO NOT WALK to a vacation by yourselves.

RUN.

 Why had we never done this before?

This was the best decision.  We’ve had many opportunities. We go to dinner and see movies. We attend church and events at church. We grocery shop, pay bills and mow the grass. An entire week on the road came with unexpected joy and amazing conversation. And tranquil, quiet moments too.

It all started when I was invited to a writing retreat in San Antonio Texas. Within a few minutes of the invite, I RSVP’d and was making plans. I noticed my husband, as supportive as he is, was looking a little dismayed. I threw out a WILD suggestion.

“Hey, why don’t you fly down at the end? We can go see some things, rent a car and drive home?”  I said, thinking he’d laugh at me and move on.

He didn’t. He came back a few days later with “Were you serious about Texas because I think we can make it work.”

As it turns out, it’s much cheaper to rent a car round trip than to rent one way, so he drove roughly 1200+ miles on a Sunday morning, and arrived at his destination at 2 am Monday. Talk about dedication to spouse, marriage, and vacation!

The reality is, we didn’t know how much we needed the break until we took it. It is mind blowing the amount of stress we carry. Being on our own schedule and pace was great. The only plan was to hit a few key spots and be home by Sunday.

We spent several days driving from San Antonio, Texas to Austin, then Waco. We dashed north to Nashville, Tennessee then home. We had a bucket list of things to do or see, and we marked almost all of them off.

Are we tired?      Sure.

Do we have any regrets?      Nope.

Would I do it again?      Absolutely.

Did I buy coffee cups?      4

We are already planning the next trip.

During this entire excursion, one thing is abundantly clear- I have drawn closer to God, therefore, closer to my husband. We do not have everything figured out. After 26 years, we still argue, fuss and get annoyed with one another. We consider ourselves very blessed to have a strong marriage. It takes truth-telling and hard work. Marriage takes time, patience and the ability to love unconditionally. It requires a willingness to sacrifice, love without exception and a sense of security in another person.

Historically, we humans are not good at loyalty. We fail miserably and consistently. Security in another person almost seems impossible, so marriage takes an element of forgiveness, too. It is hard to live with another person, make a life-long commitment and stick to it. But these little moments on vacation, in the car or even at the grocery are things we can build on. They are small things which pile up to big mountains of security. Even when shaken, we can choose to do our part to make it work.

I know what you are thinking, what about the big things?

Infidelity, financial hardship, addiction, and meddling in-laws are all big things. I do not believe there is anything which cannot be overcome by trusting God in your marriage. Your marriage is between you and your spouse- no one else. The only exception aside from God is a good counselor who comes from Christian roots who knows what the goal of your marriage is. Accountability is tough but necessary for both husband and wife. It is also part of being a spouse. Nothing says awkward silence like traveling for hours in a car together when there is something which needs to be resolved.

When traveling with one another, we work through a few things. We talk about our beliefs, our questions, and revelations. We make decisions. We learn and we grow together. These are the little moments we cherish. Traveling has been good marriage therapy for us.

The next time one of you has a crazy idea like an impromptu road trip, say yes and consider the possibilities.

** Places to go for all different budgets:

National Parks

Historical Monuments

Cities with a hopping downtown life

Locally you can visit a new place every week and never see everything in a city.

Some suggestions are:

New restaurants, Local Sports Teams, Local Festivals, Museums, Art Exhibits, Bed and Breakfast

 

Next up: San Antonio and the Alamo.