New Friendships
Think of the last 3 conversations you have had with 3 different friends.
What did you talk about?
*Haircuts?
*Clothes?
*Handbags?
Were your conversations surface junk?
Were they shallow and politically correct?
Were they in the grand scheme of things not worth repeating or refreshing?
Were they based on things of this earth and things of this human life?
Do you even remember them?
Are your friendships missing something?
When was the last time you and your friend or friends talked over coffee about praying for one another?
How about your weaknesses as moms, wives, friends, Christians?
Have you ever spoken about heaven and hell, and what you are doing to be more Christ-like?
Have you ever offered or asked to be made accountable?
If you are spending your time with Christian women and you can’t get beyond the haircut and handbag surface conversation then you need to find out why.
Lets talk about new friendships.
It isn’t easy for most of us to make a new friend. I mean, we meet people all the time, right? When our kids start doing activities, we meet other moms. When our husband starts a new job, there is potential we will meet a wife or two of his co-workers. There are always new people at church, at work, at the school. There may be someone you see regularly when you stop for coffee, or when you keep a shopping routine.
How do we, as Christian women, break the ice to new friendships when we know virtually nothing about someone? For some women I imagine it is not hard- when you are outgoing or especially social, it makes it easier to find something to talk about. For me, I have to look for something.
I am looking for something we may have in common, or something we may have the same opinion about. I always feel like it’s an unnatural process, making friends with new people. I have had a lot of people come ( and go) in my life, and I feel more comfortable with what I know.
The trouble with that theory is, God wants us to make new friends. He wants us to speak his truth to those we know, and in order to do it, we have to know them first.
Not everyone is ready for a one on one Jesus perspective conversation when they first meet me. But eventually, they may be. Through God and his impeccable timing and plan, I think new friendships are vital to our success not only as women but in ministry.
I would love to say that everyone I have become friends with has been receptive of my “Jesus thing” as some have put it. The ugly truth for me is, some of those girlfriends that I love just aren’t ready to make room for Jesus. And there is little I can do, except be a friend who smiles on the outside and prays on the inside.
Lets look at the above list:
How many of those things have happened to you in conversations lately?
How do we turn our conversations into more than just about our haircuts and handbags?
Where do we begin?
I will start by “sorting” my friendships into categories. This could take some time, but I purchased a journal, and in it, I wrote down the names of my friends.
I sorted them by category:
*New Friends
*Seasonal Friends
*Non-Christian Friends
*Spiritual Friends
Realizing at any moment a friend can “change” categories, I did this in pencil.
It was then I realized I could be a better example to my current list of friends by working on my most important friendship of all (aside from Jesus)- my husband. He is, after all, my best freind. I personally believe he should be.
( After all, he can consistently flush the toilet while I am in the shower. A risk I am not willing to take. )
Once I created this list, I prayed over it for days.
Then I started some research and found out something about myself.
I have patterns.
YIKES.
Until next time, work on your own list. See what you find out about yourself and your friends.