The Things No One Warned Me About: Take One
When our oldest son told us he was leaving for Florida the day after his 18th birthday, I was stunned. The few days I had to prepare myself were not at all enough. I soon found myself standing at the airport, watching my baby walk through the security gate alone, and disappear around the corner.
My husband held my hand tight as silent tears streamed down his face. I sobbed and prayed all the way back to the car. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think. I couldn’t fix the ache in my heart. There was no one to talk to about it to- there was no one to comfort me. I felt so numb that my firstborn was just…gone.
He was gone. He left me, he left his dad, he left us all. He hadn’t even packed up his entire room. He left almost everything behind. I think I went through some stages of grief in the following days.
Fast forward to the present day- two kids married and another out on his own. The one who left me has five children, all girls. One kid still at home. I have a notebook with big plans for all the bedrooms. They are all mine. I will have a guest room of my dreams, an office that is functional, and enough bookshelves to house all the books I have stored in every odd place I can find. Maybe even a room dedicated to baseball. If my husband wants a man cave I can’t argue that.
As I make plans I keep going back to the one question from when my son broke his mother’s heart and flew off to a warmer place:
Why on earth didn’t anyone ever warn me about this part of my life?
Piety, Religion and Reverence
During the last semester of my college experience, I took a required Philosophy class. In this class, I was finally able to put words together to define what holiness means to me.
In discussing St. Augustine’s The Confessions, a description of piety and his enlightenment, I discovered my own holiness. It was much simpler than I first imagined. I didn’t need a lot of fancy terminologies, a beautiful ornate room, or the blessings of another pious person. I didn’t have to ask for permission. I didn’t need to be perfect, barefoot or cleansed by smoke and ash to enter. I also didn’t need St. Augustine.
What I needed I had been holding on to all along.
In The Beginning: Marriage Edition
Genesis 2:18, God decided man was no good alone, so He created woman.
The God of the universe chose to create a helper for His prize creation- man. Eve could’ve been created out of dust as Adam had been. It may have been simpler for God to do what He had already done. However, God chose to take a part of Adam to create Eve-also creating an inseparable and inarguable bond between them. The symbolic nature of his well-thought creation brings new viable meaning to the “becoming one flesh” in marriage. It creates a biblical basis for a man and a woman uniting both physically and spiritually, creating a oneness only marriage can provide. Eve’s life was created from Adams body. He gave her a new life from his own, just as a new husband does for his bride on their wedding day. Adam was given Eve to be his helper- his lifelong mate. God intended it to be forever.
FOREVER.
Vacation & Marriage: Nashville, Tennessee
Nashville Tennessee was quite a surprise.
The first thing we did was find the Antique Archaeology store- home of the American Pickers show. It was fantastic. If you follow or watch this show, you will love the store. They had a few things I could definitely put to use. We bought a few souvenirs and walked around the complex the store is located in. It used to be an auto manufacturing company- a luxury car. Marathon Motor Works. The entire building is turned into a museum with little shops in every nook and cranny. It was a great place to unwind. We finished up and headed downtown.
The streets bustled with people. The strip downtown was full of honkytonks and music. Musicians looking for their big break sat in open window bars performing songs for the public and the inside crowd. The country music surrounding us was almost surreal. It was a real treat for both of us as we walked down the street listening and watching.
I am still standing.
How many others have this thought when they look in the mirror some days?
I am still standing.
I can not believe it some days. I am in awe of everything God has provided. I have the strength I didn’t know I had. I am able to be graceful, merciful and forgiving. I am rewarded in sunrises and sunsets, hummingbirds and full moons.
