“No” Isn’t a Four Letter Word
The look on her face said it all. Her tone was disappointed.
“It’s ok, I really didn’t want you anyway, I just wanted your husband,” she said, then walked away.
It’s not that I didn’t want to serve at my church. I was trying to be more intentional by not spreading myself too thin. I didn’t want to commit to something I knew I couldn’t live up to. In my mind, by telling her no, I was doing her a favor. I was saving her the hassle of replacing me when I was absent.
She didn’t see it that way at all. It was very personal, getting the schedules done. It was her job, and she saw it as our responsibility to fill those spaces. I completely understand.
I remain guiltless.
I don’t have a problem telling people “No”. I make it a point to know what my schedule is, giving an honest answer as soon as possible. I will not leave my name in the “maybe” box if I don’t have to.
“No” is not a dirty word. It does carry a lot of weight, and sometimes can let our feelings be known in certain tones and context. It was hard to learn to say. Now I am an expert. It feels good to say “NO” and protect my time and commitments.
If I have obligations which take me away from my priorities, I have not protected my time.
I Am Weary & This Life Is Why
Journal Entry:
I can write about being weary. I am exhausted. Life has become complicated again. I have more obligations than I know what to do with and the responsibilities are overwhelming. My mom needs more than I can provide for her. I am doing my very best, but it is difficult to fulfill every need. My dad is not replaceable, and I need to figure out my limits so she isn’t disappointed.
I have another empty bedroom to clean. I am trying not to cuss and hold it together (mostly). I have filled more trash bags than I thought I would. I had to vacuum and sweep- twice. I’m not sure when this room was last cleaned. Maybe when my daughter moved out- four years ago? Why are boys so gross? (sorry kiddo)
This sounds so trivial. I know there are real-world problems. This extra bedroom, my mom’s needs, a painting project and the cats who have been dumped here. Do people see a barn and think irrationally “there’s a farm, they want our extra cats”? More mouths to feed and more to clean up after.
Marriage Roadtrip 2018
As we head into summer, it’s appropriate to share a bit about our kick-off vacation. This is the first time we took a vacation as empty-nesters. We have done a mission trip, weekend get-away and trips individually for work or as volunteers. We have never done an actual vacation just the two of us.
It was epic.
Moms and dads- if you have 4-5 days and a sitter-DO NOT WALK to a vacation by yourselves.
RUN.
