Being Human
I never write or share anything overtly political here. I keep my big mouth shut and share my thoughts with only my husband of 24 years. But today I want to share something I have had popping up every time I sit down at this keyboard.
Understand that I am a Christian, I have been baptized and I read my Bible. I cling to the hope that was promised to each of us through the death and resurrection of Christ. I believe in creation as an actual thing, not a theory. I think Noah’s ark was an amazing testament of one man listening and being in tune to a God that others had provoked for a long time. I believe Revelation is a real prophecy, and its time of fulfillment will come. I also believe I am not here for no reason. There is a purpose to each life, and sometimes we never know our intended purpose on this earth. But we are all one thing, we all have one common thread regardless of religion, race or other factors.
We are all human.
Being human is something we all have in common. We have no choice in the matter- it is what we are. The things we can control? Our actions, reactions and how much we let other people influence our decisions, thoughts and lives.
Do you know what “spin” is? Do you know what “propaganda” is?
These are two driving forces in our country today. We see something happen, then someone explains it away and we find ourselves wondering if what we actually saw was the truth. We doubt our own instincts and witness because someone in a higher position tells us we are wrong, in a subtle, manipulative way. We eventually buy into the spin, because it’s what everyone else is believing.
I struggle with the way one persons’ opinion can sway so many in their thoughts. I struggle with losing my identity because I want to be like all the other humans. I am me, and no one can take it away unless I let them. I am an individual. I must hold tightly to that.
The part of being human that baffles me is when we forget everyone else is just like us. We all bleed when shot, we all die and are gone in death. On this earth, we are no more. That is the end of the human road for us. How do we forget these things? How do we forget we are all already equals on a much bigger playing field than our social or economic circles dictate?
I don’t know how we are supposed to overcome racism or bigotry or hate for one another when we never slow down enough to understand the problem with being human is we all have a heart full of something. Our hearts have seeds planted in them from other people, books we read, experiences we have had and things we listen to. We all have ultimate control over our own hearts. Yet we continue to let other people pull the strings and decide for us who we love and who we hate. We continually listen to the “spin” and make a lot of things what they don’t have to be. We keep buying into the propaganda, and nothing ever changes. We let others plant seeds of unrest and instead of squashing them, we let them grow like weeds.
I’m so tired of the spin. I want to make my own choices when it comes to who I love, am friends with and respect. I believe a lot of people feel the same way, they just have no idea how to stand for themselves and their humanness. I want to be able to have friends from everywhere, and not have someone wondering why. I want all people to stand up and be accountable to their humanness. I think it’s time to stop being so ignorant. I think it’s time to realize every single life matters because we are all here in the first place, and that is something.
I believe people who kill other people should be held accountable, no matter who either person is. I think if we really want to stop this cycle we have to make an adjustment somewhere within ourselves. We have to quit fighting about it. No one has “won” this argument – it just keeps growing. No problems are being solved by trashing one another and being rude. No problems will get resolved while everyone is screaming and no one is listening. As humans, we need to take a different kind of stand.
Our lives depend on it.
Facing Fear
Fear.
Fear of the unknown, fear of the known, fear of the things that make us change or cause us pain.
How do we make sure it doesn’t control us?
How do we lean so heavily into the father, we know there is nothing to fear?
What does it take for us to say enough is enough, and cut fear loose?
It has taken me heartache, leaving my lifetime church, approaching each day with prayerful optimism, and a bit of caution. It has taken an increase in faith, a focused time each day in prayer and a realization that I am not alone. I am not only guided by the most powerful Spirit, but I am surrounded by others who have the same fears I have; an understanding of sorts.
When Forgiveness is Not Reciprocated.
Part Three
When Reciprocation is limited
When forgiveness or the need for it is not reciprocated, what do we do? A relationship cannot be restored without it. What happens when forgiveness is in order and much needed, but the other party involved wants nothing to do with any of it, from either direction? What happens when the hurt person just cannot forgive you? What happens when you need to forgive, but the other party just is not receptive?
In Matthew 18:21-22, 35, Jesus is sharing the details of the unforgiving debtor.
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.” (NIV)
Seeking Forgiveness
Part Two
When you hurt someone, asking for forgiveness is essential.
Matthew 5:23-24
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. “(NIV)
In this scripture, we are commanded to seek out and offer up forgiveness, even before entering into a time of worship. Forgiveness is the most important act in scripture. It is the purpose in the death burial and resurrection of Christ. It is the reason for salvation. Although it is a seemingly common theme in scripture, it is also one of the hardest to attain from people. Forgiveness does require a bit of humility for the giver and the recipient. It requires an unequivocal amount of heart, and a level of sincerity found nowhere else. It requires a certain amount of trust between the two parties.
Forgiveness is Always Essential
When someone hurts you, forgiveness is an essential part of healing. When someone hurts you beyond what you are normally capable of dealing with, it may take some time. But when that time arrives for forgiveness, you have to forgive and do some forgetting. No matter the hurt, confusion or emotion. Regardless of the leftover feelings of distrust, disloyalty and disappointment, there will come a time for it. Even though you are struggling to breathe at the mere mention of their name or the situation that has you so bound.
You forgive them anyway, in every way you possibly can until the Holy Spirit gives you peace about it.
You ask Jesus to forgive you, and you pray for healing.
Then, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on.
The Restlessness Inside Me
ECC 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
I sit in the church service and take notes. I shift around in my seat, acutely aware of my wrinkled sock in my shoe. I look over at my husband as he tunes into what the speaker is saying. I glance down the aisle at a couple of friends. One of them just joined this church. She came from the same place we had, just different circumstances. My husband likes it here. It’s a small church, a nice building with loving people. They aren’t afraid to look me in the eye, having a conversation or smiling at me. They even ask me about myself and stop to listen. It’s been a long time since someone genuinely approached me, asking me questions instead of making assumptions. That’s something amazing for sure, but I am still insecure. I fidget in my seat as the speaker continues, unaware how close to wrapping up he is. Something he briefly mentioned grabbed my attention long term. It shook me to the core, actually. The scripture he referred to spoke of restlessness.
God placed restlessness with the things of this earth on our hearts intentionally.
An Open Letter to Cancer
You have come in like a vengeance and stolen our lives. I see you, snaking you way through our friends and family, like the serpent in the garden, tricking Eve just when she was most vulnerable and alone. I see you taking the spark from the eyes of those I love, holding us all hostage until the pain is so great and the body is so weak we just give in to your twisted way of life. I see you making him hurt, cry and vomit, setting us up for ultimate failure because no one on this earth can cure us of you. I know you laugh at our attempts at normal, our defeats and our losses. I hear you mocking us in the night, when I sit on the edge of the bed and sob, at a loss and unable to cope.
The Inside Jokes of Our Marriage
The funniest things happen on a daily basis in our marriage. There is always something which occurs that makes us laugh together. Most of those things we could never share with any other person. Some of them are super personal things, maybe even intimate in nature. Some are just downright inappropriate hilarity, not optional for table conversation. A few are just things we keep to ourselves because we treasure the private moments we have together as a couple.
The Truth About Humility Being Hard
The freedom to make our own choices sometimes gets us into trouble. Free will is something most Christians do not see as a problem- we make choices every day. The problem we run into is when we determine we are not going to be responsible for those choices- and natural consequences of our actions. When we choose to sin over not, it is not by accident. We all have the capability of tapping into the Power of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is a gift from God. It is designed as our ultimate conscious- our still small voice. Feel that little tick when you have to make a choice of drinks, while your alcoholic friend is watching you? That’s the Holy Spirit. Hear that hum in your brain, right when you are making an unnecessary purchase with that credit card? Holy Spirit. Hearing yourself tell a lie and feeling really guilty when those words escape your lips? You guessed it.
Respecting My Single Friends
I read a lot of things. I have a lot of single friends. I have to be honest- I do not envy them one bit. Hubs and I were married right after I graduated high school- in September. I have never lived alone, never had to “shop for one” and never had to find a date for any social event. I have never spent a Christmas on my own or had to wait to see if someone would call me for a second date. I have never had to juggle more than one prospect, check my planner in front of people to make myself look busy or take my friend to a banquet. At the end of the day, I curl up on the couch with Mr. Right and a quilt. We laugh, drink coffee together and make mistakes together. We live this life as one, just as marriage was intended. However, I don’t think marriage was intended for everyone. Even though I do not envy them, I do respect my single friends.
