Respond

Revelation 3:20

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

When I have a day -or a few days- when I feel like things are piling up, I respond to it by going to him in prayer.

Sometimes it is desperate,  my voice. On occasion, I have found myself pleading for the hurt, anger or overall emotion to subside so I can breathe again. I know he responds because I feel peace wash over me. In my belief I have sought him out, confident in the faith I have in his plan.

I know he wants me to be healthy. I have a lot of choices to make each day and when I choose to reach out to him for restoration, I can make them with clarity. All I need to do is ask, and he responds to my weariness. I only need to pray and express my needs and I find what I am looking for.  

Some days I feel the radio silence. I retreat into a quiet reflection, waiting to hear the Father’s voice gently nudging me out of the fog. The answers are rarely clear. Occasionally the answer comes in an unexpected form. There are moments I feel like I have waited a long time in the quiet. But I still have peace and comfort in my faith and his plan.

I believe God provides me joy in response.

Resolution to the way I am feeling may not be immediate, but the laughter of my grandchildren is. Watching the hummingbirds fight over the feeder is a miracle. Seeing the sunrise and sunset in spectacular form is amazing. Holding my husband’s hand in the quiet is calming. There are many ways he provides in response. I have to allow myself to let go of my inner chaos so I can accept everything else.

The unexpected twists and turns of grief can leave me speechless, caught off guard. Then he swoops in and sends me another unexpected gift, joy in some other form. A reason for my heart and soul to smile again.

The grief journey has been strange, almost awkward at times. But there is always a burst of love right around the corner. His response to my heart beckons me to be still and take it all in. Most of all, it calls me to quiet and calm reassurance.

When I knock, I know he will answer. I simply must be open to it.

XOXO,