The Hard Truth About Grace
GRACE
ɡrās/
noun
- simple elegance or refinement of movement.
“she moved through the water with effortless grace”
synonyms: elegance, poise, gracefulness, finesse
- (in Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.
verb
- do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one’s presence.
“she bowed out from the sport she has graced for two decades”
synonyms: dignify, distinguish, honor, favor
As defined, grace looks pretty simple. However, in digging a little bit deeper, practical applications and basic humanness prove it to be one of the toughest issues for Christian women. To give and receive grace is one big assignment. Yet it is also one of the most important things we can do not only for others but for ourselves.
Whether you are a single mom, married to your prince charming or living the single life, the need for grace in your life is real. As a woman, we can really make a mess of things. We don’t always make the best decision for everyone involved in a situation. We don’t always sit and “be still” as our savior has asked us to. Sometimes we are impulsive and emotional. Sometimes we are at our wits end. Some days we are feeling the crunch of life bear down on us and we just have to do something. On occasion, we just forget who we have in our corner and we try to do it all on our own. Being independent must include Christ. He is part of the package. This is a personal and intimate relationship which involves no one else except for you and him.
Society says we are to be loud, speaking up, lashing out. We are to publicly defend ourselves, shame others and rise to the top no matter the cost to anyone. Society says we can walk away from relationships to save face. We can pretend to be something we are not so others will like us and we can do it with no repercussions. Society also says women have to fight for justice, equality and everything else we want. It tries to dictate to us how we should react to wrongs. It says hurting one another is ok, if it makes us feel better about ourselves. Society also says it’s ok to justify the means. Society says to laugh at others who show weakness. It says we cannot cry or have a rough day. It says if we mess up, it’s over.
Jesus says differently.
Jesus says wait, be still. He says to turn the other cheek, hold our tongue, offer our cloak. He tells us to have patience, empathy, and love for those who wrong us. He tells us mercy rules and following mercy comes grace.
There it is again. Grace. So the question is, how do we overcome the hurts? How do we forgive and forget, and offer grace and mercy to those who confoundedly hurt us? How do we stand firm as Christian women without looking like a weak victim? How do we stand and be still when our hearts are full of despair and sometimes even rage? How is it we can get up in the morning and return to our communities, our churches, and our lives when everyone knows the wrongs and are expecting a retaliation? How do we show grace to someone who has crushed our spirit, when the inner turmoil is so great we can barely function?
“The free and unmerited favor” which God provides to us each time we break his heart we must learn to provide for them.
It sounds so simple, yet sorting through all the emotion and heartache makes it a muddy mess. It takes time to forgive. It takes more time to add grace into that equation. On occasion, it may take years. After much evaluation and even more prayer, we can begin the process by understanding the significance of bestowing grace. We may have to sit down and sort out the facts, the details, and the consequences. We may have to suffer some loss in the process. We may discover we had an actual part in the mess. Even if we deserved or didn’t deserve the hurtful action taken against us, we must find a way to let it go.
This is going to require showering ourselves with a little grace as well, and understanding we may never receive it from those we need it from. It is going to be hard, but it is going to be redemptive. In finding grace for ourselves, we will be able to serve some grace to others.