You might be a servnt spouse and it’s gonna be ok. I actually have good news and bad news.

The good news is YAY! You’re serving in your church in some capacity and this is awesome. Give yourself a pat on the back for stepping up, stepping out or getting roped in, whichever suits your circumstance.

You are not alone! Lots of people serve in various capacities in their church. If you lead a Sunday school class, you probably serve communion or work in the kitchen. If you’re on the worship team you are probably helping with projects and work days. If you are handy you most likely get called when something needs a repair. Rarely do people serve in a single capacity in their church.

Now for the bad news and a reality check- do you serve with joy?

 Do you have a servants heart or are you serving under the umbrella “someone has to do it”?

Are there multiple ways you serve which are becoming overwhelming?

Are you finding yourself juggling home schedules because you are inundated with responsibilities at church?

Have you become the yes man or woman, the go-to when they “need someone”?

Are your volunteering and serving taking so much time away from your family you forgot your spouses birthday or other important events?

This is where the rubber meets the road. This is when you must sit down and re-evaluate.

First- let me assure you- I live to serve. Sometimes the way I serve is quiet and “unnoticeable”, but I love doing it. I find great joy and spiritual fulfillment in doing things which serve my church. But I also have learned to say no.

I have learned the hard way how to keep from overwhelming myself and my family. I want to encourage you to keep serving, but make sure all the things you are doing line up with Gods plan for you. Yes, sometimes those things are out of your comfort zone- he does that on purpose to grow us. But sometimes those things are pulling us away from the things we are supposed to be doing.

If you are simply unhappy about where you are serving you need to pray- a lot. Maybe the Holy Spirit is laying something on you and you need to listen.

If you feel disgruntled or are grudgingly serving, you may need a time out and attitude check.

Sometimes the problem is deep seeded within us and doesn’t really have anything to do with others or the job we are doing. Sometimes others can help us work through, but we may need God alone to work it out.

If you feel over-scheduled or find you are missing life with your family, maybe it is time to tone it back a bit. Doing one or two things really well is much better than doing many half way. It serves no one if someone has to come behind you and finish what you have started, at home or at church.

If God needs a job done and you feel you are being led to walk away then walk away- He will find someone else. If it does not fulfill a need for His purpose, it can fade away and no one will miss it. This is a strong statement, but true.

Maybe you serve in a capacity which you don’t really understand. Recently I observed a serving situation which is frustrating to some.

There is a church lady who organizes the hospitality list. Instead of attending the service, she steps out into the foyer with the people who are scheduled to serve and stays there all morning. She even has her own bar stool at the welcome center. I am unsure why there is a list of hostesses if she is going to micromanage their job from her stool. What purpose does it serve to have multiple people doing the same thing?

What if she left her barstool and came into the service on Sunday? (GASP)

Would anyone notice her absence? What if the hostess and ushers came into the service after it starts? They aren’t exactly missing throngs of people stampeding the door down. What if the guy who organizes communion- allowed the guys serving do their job and came into the service too? He also sits in the foyer the entire morning.

Are these traditions and habits which do not line up with what God has planned for us?

Are the commitments we make to trivial things more important than the commands Jesus expects us to follow?

What if we are doing something because we have “always done it”, even though it makes no sense to continue?

What if that is the job YOU are doing?

In scripture, Jesus addressed serving in a very big way.

 Luke 10:38-42 says:

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I think of this scripture every time I see someone missing out on whatever we are doing instead of participating for the sake of “What if?”

What if…

*someone comes through the door?

*a hostess or usher has to use the restroom?

* there is a crisis?

Reality- so what?

Someone will see and talk to the person running a few minutes late. If the assigned person steps away for a moment, it is not the end of the world. How much actual crisis happens on Sunday morning in the building between 830-11?

The reality is we all need to pull together and serve somewhere. Jesus wants us to do it and this is how we grow. But we need to sort out the traditions which serve no purpose from the actual work God expects of us and begin to refocus on those things again. We need to make sure when we are serving we are doing it for God and not people. We need to make sure we have a servants heart, but not at the expense of our loved ones at home. We can avoid making a whole new generation of church widows and widowers if we simply pay attention.

XOXO