The Truth About Humility Being Hard
The freedom to make our own choices sometimes gets us into trouble. Free will is something most Christians do not see as a problem- we make choices every day. The problem we run into is when we determine we are not going to be responsible for those choices- and natural consequences of our actions. When we choose to sin over not, it is not by accident. We all have the capability of tapping into the Power of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is a gift from God. It is designed as our ultimate conscious- our still small voice. Feel that little tick when you have to make a choice of drinks, while your alcoholic friend is watching you? That’s the Holy Spirit. Hear that hum in your brain, right when you are making an unnecessary purchase with that credit card? Holy Spirit. Hearing yourself tell a lie and feeling really guilty when those words escape your lips? You guessed it.
The gift of the Holy Spirit is a welcome gift for me. I need a guide. Honestly, the little whispers I get have saved me from many wrong decisions in the past, and will carry me through the rest of my life. Tuning in was not always easy- it requires giving up a part of control over yourself that only Jesus himself can see and tap into. It means we commit to being who we are supposed to be in Christ. It means making the right decisions as much as we possibly can and being a good example-all the while being able to accept mercy, grace and love when we fall short. Humility is a big part of accepting the Holy Spirit. Having humility is very hard. When someone tells me I am good at something, or I am being honored in some way, I never know how to handle it.
Quietly saying thank you and walking away embarrassed translates into “Oh, She thinks she is so good”. Blushing and trying to accept with laughter and embarrassment is just awkward all around. A genuine smile, thank you and a handshake or hug are also misconstrued as a conceited response. Really when I am trying to be humble, it never works out, so I have resorted to smiling and getting away as quickly as I possibly can. I find it impossible to feel humble and celebrate my accomplishments. I find it impossible because people make it impossible.
We all have those impossible people in our lives somewhere. It’s a family member who constantly comments on our successes’, but likes to focus on our failures. It’s the one woman in the group who wants something you have- not because she doesn’t deserve it, but because she doesn’t know how to attain it. It’s the “friend” who sits in a coffee shop with you while you mull over your next step- then blabs to anyone who will hear her about your troubles. It’s the group of people who have predetermined who you are- without ever asking you or getting to know you. It all makes humility the hardest to attain- and maintain. It makes us feel so weird, being humble. It contains grace, mercy and love in all circumstances. It takes the ability to be sweet and balanced, to be selfless and compassionate towards those who don’t know how to be that way with you. And sometimes, it takes a full on miracle.
Being humble is part of a lifelong journey which contains many lessons, both hard and refreshing. It means turning the other cheek, offering your best and showing discernment in critical moments. It leaves people wondering what you are up to, when they aren’t accustomed to this new found attribute within you. It leaves you breathless when the opportunity arises to show true humility, and grateful for the chance to get this one thing right. It means a lifestyle change and an internal one as well. It means forgiveness for those you never dreamed you could forgive, and it means letting yourself off the hook when you have made every effort to make amends in a situation. Most of all, being humble is a huge step in repentance, recognizing the things you need to make right, and walking away from the ones you have no control over.