Twenty-Four Years & Counting

My husband remembers everything.

Our first kiss, (middle school cafeteria) our first date,(Christmas Vacation Movie) our first everything. He remembers it all like it was yesterday, and I am grateful. I am grateful for the man God has provided me with. He has been the best friend I need, the lover I want and the father my children deserve. He has gone above and beyond when duty calls in every single situation. I couldn’t love another human being more. The only relationship I have which is more important to me is the one I have with Christ. The best part about that is, he feels the same way.

There is a diagram of how a Christian marriage is supposed to look:

 

I used to think this was the best way to encourage other married couples in their marital bliss. The truth is, our marriage actually looks more like this :

 

 

There are many factors we didn’t take into consideration. Factors like in-laws, kids, friends, co-workers, family, church, our roles in the community, our roles in the church and endless other things.  When we made the commitment to one another, we also made the commitment to everything the other person had to offer, was involved in or cared about. It was a lot to take on sometimes. It required a lot of flexibility and even some sacrifice on occasion. Regardless of all these things, we are still happily married. Let’s step back a moment in time.

On September 12, 1992, we put on the clothes. We dressed up fancy, we walked down the aisle in front of all our friends and family and we repeated the vows. We exchanged rings, we kissed, we were pronounced. And so it all began, twenty-four years ago today.

We had no idea what we were doing.

If ignorance is bliss, we were in heaven for sure. We moved as far away as we could go and still be in the country. (Army life) We started our lives, our family, on our own. It was a hard time some days. We got lonely on occasion. We got bored. We had to figure out how to depend on one another solely. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything else. The first year of challenges prepared us for the rest of our lives.

Now as I reflect, I see the mistakes we made weren’t too big after all. The decisions about our kids, our family, our lives- they were all for something. Our marriage diagram looks more like a pre-school drawing now. It was never the clean perceived picture people told us about. It is a messy piece of art, and it is all ours. It has combined happiness, brokenness and so much more. Our lives have been full since the very first moment together. We have endured births, deaths and all the life  lived in between.

As we move forward into this next year, I return to giving thanks for my husband. There is no greater gift God could have given me to enjoy on this earth. Together we keep moving forward, as one. Marriage has been wonderful in an imperfect, blissful kind of way.

We have learned yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not promised, but today we can enjoy one another as a blessing undeserving, yet bestowed.