You Deserve to Be Still

We don’t teach self care and time management to our girls as we should. No one taught me.

All I saw as a young adult were women constantly in a state of movement. Doing things for others and never stopping.

The to do lists took precedent. The dinners, laundry, church and work responsibilities were endless.

I was drowning as well, in the overwhelming over commitments I had made to my family and others.

When we were younger, I noticed something. John would take a rare day of crashing on the couch. He would veg and watch tv or play with the kids for an extended amount of time. He recognized the need for downtime.

I didn’t have the luxury, or so I thought . I used to get so annoyed at him for just doing nothing. I quickly realized as the kids grew up, if I wanted a day like that, I’d have to take it like he did. Even if it looked like calling into work or skipping Sunday church (sorrynotsorry)

If I wanted to refresh myself I would have to be my own best advocate. I would have to make sure I got a break.

Once I figured out how to get the break and carve out the time, I didn’t know what to do with it. I spent most of it trying to decide.

It took me a long time to learn how to be still.

After years of practice I have set my own limits on my time. I have many options, especially now that we are empty nesters.

Early on, I had 3 options. Spend the time praying & reading, being creative, or writing. The being creative was based on my time and the weather. Sometimes that looked like being alone in the garden, sometimes it was writing or creating something.

Now, I still focus on those three things. But it’s different because I have more time. I have better resources. I have the ability to say “no” and protect the white space on my calendar.

People don’t like it when you say no, and sometimes they quit asking altogether. It’s unfortunate that other very busy people don’t recognize the need for being still. They don’t always value your “no for now” and translate it to “no forever”. They miss out on the best parts of you because they don’t understand rest.

I have learned that being still and self care are components of a healthy balance.

I’ve also learned that not everyone knows how to be still, and it sometimes interrupts my moments of peace. In those moments, I have to remember patience and grace.

When we look at everything in our life as a task, we don’t consider the actions and intentions behind it. We simply check it off the list. Think about it.

Birthday parties. Christmas cards. Helping a friend move. Assisting a neighbor with a project. Cooking dinner for a widow. Mowing the grass for an elderly person. Serving in the church nursery. Picking up your grandkids from school.

These are all things placed on our to do list that we get done, but are we intentional?

When we spend our time doing all the things to simply check them off and be done, we miss out on the best parts- the rest and being still together afterwards.We rush off to do the next thing. Always in a hurry and always just to finish.

What if we were more intentional with the things we are already doing?

What If we took some time at the end of each thing to simply be together?

What if we started today, with our next thing?

You don’t get your time back. Once spent, it’s gone forever.

Xoxo,